


Dry Cleaning

by Robin Hood (kjack89)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Developing Relationship, Flirting, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 00:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12494652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/Robin%20Hood
Summary: Barba had never paid much attention to the timer ticking steadily on his wrist. So perhaps it wasn't a surprise that he barely spared a second glance at his wrist that day.If he had, he might've noticed that zero was approaching far more rapidly than he had anticipated.And he might've been prepared for the moment he stepped off the elevator at SVU only to walk directly into a cup of coffee that spilled all over his tan suit.Barba stood, stunned, as coffee slowly seeped into his suit. "Well that's a hell of a greeting," he said.





	Dry Cleaning

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, if you want to read a significantly better take on soulmate timers (interesting twists on canon! Slow burn! Case fic!), let me just casually redirect you to thesorceressfromthelake's incredible [Ad Vitam Aeternam](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12143826).
> 
> It wounds my soul to have to mark anything I write as canon divergent, but the fact of the matter is, Carisi's Apple Watch does not make an appearance until season 17, not season 16. I know, I know, it's sloppy of me, but alas, there we are.
> 
> For Maggie, because all soulmate things are seemingly for Maggie, and because she gave me this prompt, like, a month and a half ago. Much thanks to AHumanFemale for less beta-ing and more reading this over and showering me with praise because she loves me too much to see my faults <3
> 
> Usual disclaimer. Please be kind and tip your fanfic writers in the form of comments and/or kudos!

Barba had never paid much attention to the timer ticking steadily on his wrist. When he was young, the time remaining was so high and his soulmate so far away from being his that it seemed too far to even dream about. And when he got older, he had school and then work to keep him busy and far more important things to worry about than the timer on his wrist slowly counting down towards zero.

So perhaps it wasn't a surprise that he barely spared a second glance at his wrist that day.

If he had, he might've noticed that zero was approaching far more rapidly than he had anticipated.

And he might've been prepared for the moment he stepped off the elevator at SVU only to walk directly into a cup of coffee that spilled all over his tan suit.

Barba stood, stunned, as coffee slowly seeped into his suit. "Well that's a hell of a greeting," he said as the coffee not absorbed by the expensive fabric dripped from his suit and puddled on the floor.

"I am _so_ sorry," the worst Staten Island accent he had ever heard said in response, and Barba forced himself to look up from the rapidly spreading stain across his midsection to the mustachioed detective staring at him in abject horror. "I didn't — I mean, uh—"

"Not to worry, Detective," Barba grimaced, wringing out the sleeve of his suit jacket. "At least I know where to send the dry cleaning bill. Is the Sergeant in her office?" The detective just nodded, mutely, still looking stricken, but Barba didn't spare him a second glance as he made his way into Liv's office, holding his head high as if he hadn't just been doused in brown liquid.

It wasn't until later that day, as he was gingerly changing out of the still-damp clothes into the spare suit in his office that Barba noticed the zero shining resolutely from his wrist. And it took him less than a minute to realize exactly who had caused the timer to stop.

His initial reaction was to groan, loudly, because of _course_ it had to be someone whose very existence in Barba’s life thus far had been an inconvenience on every level.

But then he remembered that, were it not for the hideous mustache, the detective had been somewhat attractive, if Barba’s coffee-soaked memory was correct. And besides, Barba had had a good run with SVU thus far, and he doubted that their newest recruit would be totally incompetent.

Because that’s what everyone looked for in their soulmate, basic competence and easy on the eyes.

Then again, Barba hadn't given thought to his soulmate in so long that he honestly had no clue what most people did look for in their soulmate. He'd given up any naive hope of a fairytale ending with the love of his life decades past. Personally, after 44 years and little desire to be forced into the whole soulmate thing, he'd settle for a fairly attractive someone to foot the tab on the dry cleaning disaster that cleaning his suit was bound to be.

Barba wasn't entirely sure what the protocol was in this kind of situation, but he figured sending the dry cleaning receipt via courier with a little note, " _By the way, you're my soulmate_ " attached probably wasn't it.

So he decided to drop it off in person.

"Detective," he said the next time he was at SVU, pausing by the detective's desk and desperately relieved to see that the mustache was already gone, without his prompting. "I'm glad to find that you are sans coffee this morning."

He looked up at Barba, dimples deepening on both his cheeks and Lord, Barba should've realized even without the aid of the oh-so helpful and now permanently frozen timer on his wrist that this man was going to be a _problem_. Barba had always had a weakness for dimples. "Sorry about that, Counselor," the detective said, bounding to his feet and holding his hand out for Barba to shake. "I'm Dominick Carisi, Jr., but call me Sonny, everyone does."

"No one does," Fin and Rollins stated in a bored unison, and Barba bit back his smile as he shook Carisi's hand.

"I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you but my dry cleaning bill would indicate otherwise," Barba said, searching Carisi's expression for any indication that he knew Barba was his soulmate.

He found none, just an enthusiastic eagerness as Carisi told him, "Well, it is a pleasure for me, Counselor. I've heard a lot about you and, uh, some of the stuff you've done in court. It sounds incredible."

Barba couldn't help but preen slightly at the praise. Attractive, competent and a flatterer to boot. Maybe this whole soulmate thing would work out after all. "Yes, well, chances are my reputation has been slightly exaggerated, but I appreciate that nonetheless, Detective." He hesitated, glancing automatically at Sonny's wrist, covered by his shirt sleeve and the Apple Watch he saw peeking out from under it. "In any case, I...look forward to working with you, Carisi."

It sounded strangely formal, but again, Barba wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. " _Hi, it's me, the man whose countdown timer reached zero the moment you decided to attempt to drown him in coffee_ "? It didn't quite feel right.

"Me too," Carisi said, grinning nervously at him. "I, uh, I dunno if I mentioned it, but I'm in law school, and—"

"And I shouldn't expect you to be able to foot the bill on the suit you ruined?" Barba interrupted. "Pity."

Carisi rolled his eyes but seemingly swallowed his retort. "I just feel like I have a lot to learn from you is all," he said easily.

Barba eyed him carefully. "Well, you're certainly not wrong about that," he murmured.

He turned to leave, unsure of what else to say since he knew the truth wasn't an option, and before reaching the elevators he heard a familiar voice calling his name and the sound of shoes hitting the hard tile floor and echoing down the hall.

He turned back, unsurprised to see Carisi trailing after him.

The earnest look in his eyes kept Barba pinned to the spot. "Detective?" he asked pointedly.  "Is there something else?"

Carisi paused, a flush warming his dimpled cheeks and Barba drank in the sight with eager eyes. "No," Carisi said, a little too quickly. "I just, uh, I—"

This was it, and Barba took a deep breath, steeling himself for Carisi's fumbled confession that they were soulmates. "Whatever it is, spit it out."

"I _will_ pay for your dry cleaning," Carisi blurted, bright red, and Barba stared at him, mouth agape. "I mean, it was an accident but it was still my fault, and—"

"And this is not actually about my dry cleaning," Barba said, rescuing Carisi before he could injure himself with his floundering.

Carisi stared at him. "It's not?" he asked.

Barba was sorely tempted to laugh at the bewildered look on his face but figured that mocking was not the solid foundation soulmates were usually built on. Besides, as reluctant as Barba had been to the whole concept of soulmates initially, if he had his way, there’d be time for mocking later, a whole lifetime of it.

Instead, he cleared his throat. “Perhaps it's time you looked under that hideous watch of yours.”

Carisi’s bewildered expression furrowed into offense. “Hey, I love my Apple Watch,” he said, affronted. “I mean, yeah, everyone told me to wait for the second generation to come out before buying it, and sure, it's had its glitches, but—”

Barba again cut him off, this time by reaching out to clasp a hand around Carisi’s wrist, the zero on his wrist standing out starkly against the last vestiges of his summer tan. Carisi stared down at it, watching with wide eyes as Barba loosened the band of Carisi’s watch to reveal an identical zero underneath. “When…?” Carisi croaked after a long moment.

“At the same moment you were trying to commit garment murder by coffee,” Barba said. “Did you honestly just now see it? What, do you sleep with this idiotic watch on?”

Carisi chose not to answer that. “You couldn't just lead with that?” he asked, incredulous. “You had to start by making me feel bad about your dry cleaning?”

Barba smirked, the corners of his mouth twitching into a sardonic smile as his tone turned taunting. “Well, I thought about leading with ‘I love you’, but it seemed a little presumptuous. Hence the dry cleaning bill.”

“A _little_ presumptuous,” Carisi repeated faintly. “You think, Counselor?”

Barba’s brow furrowed slightly as he tried to interpret the look on Carisi’s face. “Presumptions aside, this doesn't need to be a thing,” he said, a little too quickly to be as casual as he was aiming for but preemptively seeking to soften the blow he'd been too naïve to not anticipate. “I've gone 44 years without my soulmate and aside from the necessity of disclosing our status to our respective supervisors, I don't need anything else from you.”

Carisi’s expression didn't change, even as he took a step closer to Barba, who swallowed, hard, suddenly aware of how close they were standing and how very blue Carisi’s eyes were. “Are you sure about that, Counselor?” Carisi asked, his voice so low it was almost a murmur, and Barba’s eyes flickered to Carisi’s lips and away again.

“Uh, yes?”

Carisi reached out to trace a finger down the lapel of Barba’s suit jacket. “Not even—” he started, and Barba tried very hard to think of the latest crime scene photos he'd seen, of grisly murders and dead bodies. Anything that would keep him from visibly reacting. “—your dry cleaning?”

Barba jerked away, glaring at Carisi, who had the audacity to grin at him, his dimples deepening. “For that, I am going to make you pay for it,” he huffed, feeling flushed and out of sorts and despising both.

“How about I take you to dinner instead?” Carisi asked, still grinning.

“Oh, you're definitely taking me to dinner,” Barba shot back. “I just haven't decided if that gets you off the hook for my dry cleaning bill.”

Carisi’s grin sharpened into a smirk. “You gonna bill me every time I ruin one of your suits?” he asked.

“Are you intending on making this a recurring theme?” Barba asked with a raised eyebrow. “If I had known meeting my soulmate would result in ruining clothes, I'd've picked a different career.”

Carisi ignored him, instead dropping his gaze rather pointedly to Barba’s slacks and slowly looking back up at him, and Barba was suddenly painfully aware that despite his best efforts, he was still half-hard, and even more aware that Carisi knew he was still half-hard. “I don't _intend_ on ruining more clothes,” Carisi said innocently, “but evidence would suggest…”

He trailed off and Barba rolled his eyes so hard he almost gave himself whiplash. “Dinner, tonight, 7pm. And remember, Detective — if you ruin it, you're cleaning it.”

“It might be worth it,” Carisi said with a grin, slowly backing down the hallway. “See you tonight, Counselor.”

“Yeah,” Barba said, allowing himself a slow, almost predatory grin as he watched Carisi walk away. “I imagine you will.”

He had waited 44 years to meet his soulmate. For the first time, Barba felt like it might just be worth it.

And in the meantime, he was going to have to change into a pair of slacks he cared slightly less about.

Just in case.


End file.
